


Proper Procedures

by Divine_shot



Series: Of how Lyle hooked up with Brainy [1]
Category: Legion of Super Heroes
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Legion Reboot Era, M/M, Reboot Legion, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-18
Updated: 2013-09-18
Packaged: 2017-12-26 22:45:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/971180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Divine_shot/pseuds/Divine_shot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written from the Kink meme. "Really Norg could you be any more daft?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Proper Procedures

**Author's Note:**

> De-anon from the kink meme. Prompt: Coluan Courtship. I beta this myself so its not 100% great. If anyone is interested in beta'ing my work let me know! If you see any mistakes message me.

Brainiac 5 did not suffer from an obsessive case of anal retentiveness but he knew when an item changed or became added in his lab.

He had been working on methods to travel through time for his own personal gain and decided to take a break. 'To clean my mouth of that twentieth century disgusting brewery drink I accidentally picked up on a whim.'

The short time it took to reach the cafeteria during the off peak hours and back with solar aid he realized that someone invaded his space. 'What the Nass?' He frowned and searched; the issue pestering him like a scratch he couldn't reach. He found the bane in the middle of the console table behind some notes.

There in a glass case was a flower from his planet. A crystalline crocus.

Brainiac 5 stared at the lone flower on his desk, hand on his hip. "How or why is this here?" A flower was the first step in courting a Coluan due to the language of their colors as well as classification. To make it worse this flower meant 'Youthful joy and non abusive love.' It also had the basic belief in assisting with fertility as well as health. So whoever placed this not only declared their love for him but also wanted to mate for a long time.

Brainy ran a hand through his blond hair in frustration. "Great. Another blunder outside of raising these children in the legion daycare."

* * *

Brainiac 5 woke up in the early hours before most of the legionnaires even considered. He yawned; slipping on a lab coat over his plaid purple pajamas. He decided to take a relaxing diversion to his main lab rather than the lab that housed his time traveling experiments.

The teenager walked two feet inside before he felt another annoyance. Groggy green eyes frowned and his face turned up. His lab housed presents. Not one but several of them in various places all over his personal space. Normally he would had conjured that someone had been overly friendly, like the time R.J. bought him gifts with Lu on his birthday, despite the flower. No whoever this person is they took the direct approach in the courtship procedure and knew exactly what they were doing. Brainy sighed and leaned on his main desk, head bowed as a migraine started to form behind his temples. 'Grife.' He rubbed in between his eyes. 'More time to waste.'

Proper protocol on his planet, even with rejection, was to open all of the gifts. Most of them he deemed useful, such as components for experiments, but the last small box had peeked his interest. Inside of the smallest box had been a blue topaz ring. December had three birthstones during his birth month but why this person picked this one had been obvious. One of the meanings of topaz had been the Sanskrit word of tapas, fire, which was the symbol of love and fidelity. If the first courtship item didn't make it obvious this sure did. 'Marriage. Who in the world would want to marry me?' He sighed as he turned the ring over and over again, sitting in his hover chair, before pocketing it in his lab coat. He narrowed down the choices to a few select children in the Legion who had relative knowledge as well as beliefs of Earth engagement rituals.

* * *

The gifts didn't cease. More flowers, intellectual poems, even sweets donned his presence. Between going to jail from helping his foolish teammates, Valor, and other distractions he never noticed how the pile started to grow in his lab until the last minute.

'I have to find this person and reject them.' Brainiac 5 sighed as he inadvertently munched on the Coluan Soy processed sweet from his home world in between experiments. He realized at the last moment that he had wholeheartedly accepted one of the gifts. 'Grife!' The teenager wanted to slap himself; that meant more time he had to waste with the proper rejection procedure due to this faulty distraction. Pushing himself from the work station with a grunt he stomped towards the rec room/lounge area. He couldn't concentrate so he might as well nourish himself.

"I wonder who is giving you the presents!" Zoe asked the red head walking next to her.

"I'm not too sure but its really cute!" Ayla said with a sigh.

Brainiac 5 heard the insistent chatter of the two girls and bumped their shoulders, ignoring them. "Hey! At least say you're sorry Brainy."

He turned around sharply, nerves already shot. "For the last time my name is not Brainy it's-"

" _Brainiac 5!_ " The girls chorused together.

The Coluan pressed his lips into a thin line; glaring and folded his arms at the giggling laughing girls. "Really Brainy you need to lighten up once in a while, go out on a date and-" Ayla started to rant but paused at noticing a floating gift in the hallway.

"Wait is that who I think it is?" Kinetix grinned, her tail wagging. "Well you know what they say, if it can't be seen its probably Norg!" A zap of her powers and Lyle Norg appeared before them, falling over on his behind, the present sailing into Spark's gloved fingers.

"Hi." He said in a hushed voice, wide eyed. _Busted_.

"Oh wow...are you my secret admirer?" Spark and Kinetix giggled and Brainy rolled his eyes.

'Lesser minds to lesser people.' He started walking off, turning around until he heard the girls shout. "Wait no...this says ' ** _To Brainiac 5-_ '"** The green skinned teenager turned back sharply and pulled Invisible kid to his feet, running down the hall like the Fatal Five were behind him.

Ayla and Zoe blinked then broke out in laughs.

"Oh wait till I tell the girls this!"

"Brainy...has a secret admirer too?!"

* * *

"Norg can you be any more daft?"

Lyle shrugged and smiled nervously. He didn't wilt under Brainy's glare; he felt more embarrassed that everyone now knew he had been after the Coluan's green ass.

Brainiac 5 had both hands on his hips as he started down at the boy sitting and squirming in his chair. He had a hypothesis that it was Lyle doing this at seventy percent. Although how the teen knew of his planet's customs is something he still conjured on.

"I was just doing the standard Coluan courtship proposal-"

"For _mates_." He pointed out.

"Yeah..." Lyle flushed and smiled. "I...I wanted to go all the way."

"You wanted to have sex."

His brown eyes widen and he waved his hand. "No No, I wanted more than sex, I-"

"You wanted to embellish and adorn me with the after glows of your inclination during the highest apotheosis." Lyle blushed to the tips of his ears at a verse from one of his poems. He wrote that one half turned on. He couldn't help himself then.

"What made you start this in the first place?" Brainy wanted answers now. He folded his arms in a no nonsense manner.

The brunette nodded and spilled the beans. "Cham wanted to go after Ayla because he liked her and told me to at least try my shoots with you. I told him it would be a bad idea but he talked me into it and I decided 'why not?'"

'Note to self; get Chameleon into a generator tube and keep him in there for days.'

"So I looked up on how to court a Coluan into marriage and discovered that I already did the first ritual."

"How?" Brainiac 5 ranked through his twelve tracks for a memory of such a thing.

"I made the flight rings." Lyle spoke shyly, threading on dangerous grounds. _"Procedure one: 'If an outsider or a lower intellectual life form wanted to pursue a Coluan, male or female, they had to outsmart or outdo their interest in the pursuit of science or another intellectual discovery.'"_

Brainiac 5 grit his teeth together but Lyle still continued. "Due to making the legion flight rings that gave me reign to proceed to step two: give them the flower of your feelings of interest."

"The Crocus."

"Yeah." Lyle kicked his legs back and forth, hands on the other sides of the chair. "I...I want you to go out with me." 'No more than that.' The teen mentally added.

"No." Brainiac 5 spoke it without consideration.

"Why not?!" Lyle made a pained noise closed to whimpering. Brainiac 5 found it pathetic.

"Did you even get approval of your parents? My...family?" Brainy winced at the break in his voice. What family? Outside of his 'step sister' Lu and R.J. Brande he had nobody. It pained him to say it but it was true.

"My mom and dad didn't care because they're always doing politics, even now. They just find me a good representative in boosting their ratings with their only son being a Legionnaire and all." Invisible kid snorted in disgust. "And I already contacted the Coluan council as well as Brande. They thought it would be in your best interest to find a mate before they did for you when you reached seventeen while Brande thought I was perfect." Lyle's arrogant smirk brought another headache to the green teenager. "He said you needed to get out of your shell more since Rond wasn't doing it."

"Still you need approval of one of my birth parents in order to finish any courtship procedures."

The brunette sighed. "I...didn't want to mention this but I tried to look up your father and from what I gathered he's passed on. Your mother on the other hand is hiding somewhere so she's harder to track down. I think its due to one of your ancestors meddling."

This raised Brainy's interest. "What do you mean?"

"Well you're a non empathic emotional wreak right? And your mom she..." He left it open, not wanting to distance the man any further. "Well its unusual for any Coluan or Brainiac to do such things considering that your ancestor Vril Dox II raised his son despite circumstances and the Dox line has emotions. So it had to be the fault of Vril Dox I or something else."

Brainiac 5 put a hand to his mouth. "I see." He would have to look up his line more closely. Maybe they had something to do with his present issues. "Still..."

"...you can be my **fiance**!" Lyle ended with joy.

Brainiac 5 stuttered, eyes wide and taken aback at Lyle's brown pupils almost glowing. _"From protocol nine: 'If an outsider or a Coluan can not get the approval of the birth parent(s) due to unknown circumstances they can still date and be betrothed until otherwise or another Coluan mate is able to finish the procedure instead.'_ "

Brainy flushed, a green tinted hue spreading on his cheeks. He covered his mouth and tried to rank through his mind for any loophole out of this. Unless his mother magically comes back and says 'no,' or another Coluan found interest in him (not likely,) he was going to be stuck with Norg for a while. Especially after eating one of his gifts.

Lyle grinned till his cheeks showed dimples and leaped out of the chair. He approached the other teenager and clasped his hands into his own. The green skinned teenager felt so nice and warm. "I like you **B**." He snickered at the pet name. "I liked you since I first laid eyes on you. Why do you think I would hang out in your lab all the time? Your presence felt soothing to me." 'Despite being a Nass head.' "So would you please be my husband to be?" Invisible kid raised one hand and kissed him on the palm.

Brainiac 5 still had a blush on his face, staring at the opposite end of the lab instead of the teen in front of him. Lyle waited and felt his heart flutter at the small nod the teen gave him. 'Yes.' He laughed, feeling playful again. "So does that mean we are going steady and can proceed with protocol ten? _'If the betrothed can consummate doing-_ '"

Brainiac 5 turned his head back slowly and slapped Invisible kid's hand away in annoyance.


End file.
